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Differences in Men's and Women's Communication Styles

At our May BUSINESS CONNECTIONS meeting, Kathleen Preston, retiring Psychology Professor from HSU, shared some interesting ideas about how differently men and women are perceived and how their communication styles differ-real and imaginary. Kathleen pulled this information from two authors, Nina Colwill and Debra Tannen:

SOME ASSUMPTIONS MADE ABOUT
WOMEN AND MEN:

  • Beliefs still persist that men are more competent than women, so when in doubt, people usually defer to a man
  • Competent women are not seen as likeable, especially unattractive women
  • Women's successes and failures are often interpreted differently than men's:
    -women's success: luck and effort; men's success: ability
    -women's failure: lack of ability; men's failure: bad luck
  • Women tend to have less Power-both public and personal
  • Status is partly determined by gender alone
  • Women are often perceived as more "alike" each other-lumped together as though they look alike
  • Women have fewer mentors in business than men

DIFFERENCES IN MEN'S AND WOMEN'S
COMMUNICATION STYLES:

The good news is no difference in abilities or achievement, and few other "personality" differences. There are differences in:

Non-verbal Communication:
- Men are different in "space, eye contact and touching
- Women pay more attention to non-verbal cues and they smile more, are very expressive, and polite.

Verbal Communicators:
- Men usually set the topic, interrupt more and hold the floor longer
- Women follow the set topic and tag on comments

Attitudes:
- Men are interested in power and control; they are more direct and confrontational
- Women are usually more task oriented; they are more indirect and manipulative

Strategies to Influence:
- Men "report-talk": more public, information giving, want to "fix-it," lecture, tell jokes, brag, look for chances to challenge
- Women "rapport-talk": more private, good at listening and understanding, offer support, look for similarities and look for chances to learn. Bragging is not OK

SUGGESTIONS TO WOMEN:

  • Be alert to different styles
  • Use the tools you have-flexibility, monitoring, caring, cooperation, ability to handle multiple tasks, etc.
  • Consciously increase your personal power-decrease vulnerability and get support
  • Know your worth and expect to get rewarded for your work
  • Support other women.
©1993, Career Life Institute



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