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Differences
in Men's and Women's Communication Styles
At our May BUSINESS CONNECTIONS meeting, Kathleen Preston, retiring Psychology
Professor from HSU, shared some interesting ideas about how differently men and
women are perceived and how their communication styles differ-real and imaginary.
Kathleen pulled this information from two authors, Nina Colwill and Debra Tannen: SOME
ASSUMPTIONS MADE ABOUT WOMEN AND MEN: - Beliefs
still persist that men are more competent than women, so when in doubt, people
usually defer to a man
- Competent
women are not seen as likeable, especially unattractive women
- Women's
successes and failures are often interpreted differently than men's:
-women's
success: luck and effort; men's success: ability -women's failure: lack of
ability; men's failure: bad luck - Women
tend to have less Power-both public and personal
- Status
is partly determined by gender alone
- Women
are often perceived as more "alike" each other-lumped together as though
they look alike
- Women
have fewer mentors in business than men
DIFFERENCES
IN MEN'S AND WOMEN'S COMMUNICATION STYLES: The
good news is no difference in abilities or achievement, and few other "personality"
differences. There are differences in: Non-verbal
Communication: - Men are different in "space, eye contact and
touching - Women pay more attention to non-verbal cues and they smile more,
are very expressive, and polite. Verbal
Communicators: - Men usually set the topic, interrupt more and hold
the floor longer - Women follow the set topic and tag on comments Attitudes: -
Men are interested in power and control; they are more direct and confrontational
- Women are usually more task oriented; they are more indirect and manipulative Strategies
to Influence: - Men "report-talk": more public, information
giving, want to "fix-it," lecture, tell jokes, brag, look for chances
to challenge - Women "rapport-talk": more private, good at listening
and understanding, offer support, look for similarities and look for chances to
learn. Bragging is not OK SUGGESTIONS
TO WOMEN:
Be alert to different styles Use
the tools you have-flexibility, monitoring, caring, cooperation, ability to handle
multiple tasks, etc.
Consciously
increase your personal power-decrease vulnerability and get support
Know
your worth and expect to get rewarded for your work
Support
other women.
©1993,
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